To The Hurricane Gods:

Dear Tropical Storm Ana,

According to the 2 AM advisory of the National Hurricane Center, I see you have made quite some progress since we were first introduced. Moving west at approximately 17mph with maximum sustained winds of 40mph and gaining strength, I've noticed you're on track to come and visit me. Normally, I would have welcomed your visit, but since you have chosen to arrive on such short notice and at such an inconvenient time, I'm afraid I am not too pleased with your anticipated presence.

If you haven't recieved the memo, most schools in the state of Florida will begin classes on Monday, August 24th. It's such a shame that you have chosen to come visit on Wednesday or Thursday, as many will be scurrying to prepare for school, get settled in for college, or finish up summer vacation. My dear Ana, you wouldn't want to interfere with that, would you?

Now I know TS Fay may have started a trend last year among you tropical storms and hurricanes to arrive on the first day of school (yes, I know it's exciting, but unfortunately unacceptable for hurricanes to attend too!), but may I suggest taking a European vacation instead? There's still time to make a sharp turn east and venture out into the Atlantic before you make contact with the beautiful islands of the eastern Caribbean. The journey may be tiring, and you may lose speed and force, but I gaurantee the sights, food, and experiences are worth it. I also suggest you take your buddy TS Bill along as well, and perhaps stop by the Cape Verde islands to warn your budding hurricane/tropical storm pals to steer clear of Florida and the Caribbean this season.

Though I do not look forward to meeting you, if we shall meet, please be kind and gentle to our area. Mediocre rainfall, thunderstorms, and light wind are tolerable, but please withhold the tornadoes, flooding, and intense winds. Thank you for your consideration and have a peaceful trip to your destination.

Sincerely,

Noelle